[The Lord] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 
2 Corinthians 12:9

I read an article today in Christianity today entitled, “Forgiving the Man who Murdered My Mom.”  It is, in essence a confession, a testimony of one man’s life up to this point.  Everett Worthington Jr. is an accomplished professor and clinical psychologist but what is remarkable about his journey of faith is not his credentials but how God is present in his pain and weakness.  You see, what makes us a powerful missional people is not found in the blessings we receive, but in how the power of how God is revealed in our times of brokenness. (Read Dr. Worthington’s article here).

The world is false enough as it is; fraught with fear, insecurity and rejection around every corner.  So we put a veneer on things, on ourselves, so that we will be loved for what we project ourselves to be.  We all know the truth of our brokenness but we also want to deny it, bury it.  We shun the inevitability that we will all die.  Instead of wrestling with it, embracing it, exploring the depths of it, we medicate it, band-aid it, distract ourselves from it and hide it.  In so doing we become inhuman.

It is our shared suffering and brokenness that brings intimacy.  It is in the nakedness of our undeniable hurts that we become free.  Our world needs to see a church on its knees more than it needs a perfect pretty church.  We cannot peddle Jesus the way everything else is peddled.  We need to be real and visceral to reveal our faith as alive and believable in an age of justified skepticism.

Our church lives in and celebrates brokenness.  It’s not comfortable but it is good.  We understand that it is a long process of shedding our armor. Unless we do that, there is no sanctuary.  We create a safe space by being vulnerable with one another.  So how do we do this?  We tell our stories.  Not just the nice parts.  We tell the broken parts.  We confess to one another and by our confession, we are healed.

Not only are we healed by telling others our secrets, others can find healing as well.  All of us who are lost can be found.

So how is this done?  Well here are some important points I have learned:

1. Start with finding a safe person – someone who cares about you and is a good listener.  For some of us this is going to take a real leap of faith.  We haven’t identified anyone like this yet.  We’ve never spoken of our deepest pains for fear of judgment.  Pray that God will reveal to you such a person.  A person who can hear you and pray with you and care for you.  For some we begin with a good counselor, pastor or spiritual director.  And by good I mean they know what they are are doing when they hear your story.  They make room for God and don’t get in the way.  In time, however, we want to have a community of friends who know us – truly know us – and love us nonetheless.

2. After finding that person or persons, tell your story.

3. Tell it again and then again and again as often as you are able.  Write it down if it helps.  Each time we tell our story, we notice new things, new details we may have forgotten, new insights about what is going on in us in the past and even in the present.  In fact, it is a healthy thing to review your life once in a while.  For some it is annually, for others every five years, and for still others, it is daily, weekly or monthly.  As Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

4. Tell even more people in a discerning manner.  My hope is that you know people you can trust – sometimes you have to take a risk.  But do it as wisely and fearlessly as you can.  As you tell more people your past, your pain, your fears, those things will have less power over you, less control.  You become more free and with grace, more compassionate.  You past does not own you.  It is not something you need to be ashamed of but the story of God’s power and redemption.  You embody the gospel.  But do this carefully and advisedly.  In time, when you have become free of the power of your pain and as your story emerges, you may have detractors who will use your past against you out of spite or insecurity.  The hope is by that time, you are strong enough and wise enough to know that these things no longer hold power over you and you do not need to be afraid of bullies.  You can actually begin to pity them their meanness.

5. Become that safe person for others.  This takes time, but only a person who understands what it is to reveal can appreciate what it means to listen and empathize.  In time, we can become a safe person and a safe community that is intimate, vulnerable, caring, encouraging, welcoming and strong.  We become a church, a sanctuary.  There are hundreds of thousands of people who have suffered loss, pain and misunderstanding.  That has sometimes turned them towards dark and destructive ways that only perpetuate blame, acrimony and bitterness.  We need examples of a people who have not turned to the dark side but have turned towards the light and bring hope.

God knows each of our stories.  He is just as upset by injustice, suffering and chaos we experience – probably more.  But he doesn’t want us to become calloused, hard and unfeeling.  He doesn’t want us to perpetuate the patterns of pain, suffering and consequence.  He wants to redeem what is evil and ugly into something good and beautiful.  Sometimes we have to visit our past with God to gain new perspective -especially when it is wounding.  We don’t have to do this alone – in fact, we shouldn’t.

In the sharing of our stories we find healing, give healing and are made whole.

God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are,  so that no one may boast before him.
1 Corinthians 1:27-29

(Rev. Dr. Ted Ng – September 11, 2013)